Two long weekends in a row, how awesome is that? I could get used to this 4 day working week thing :) Although, I don't feel like I got much done this week at all.
It's times like this I sometimes wonder why I'm going to work when I could be staying at home with my little Peanut. In one more month, he'll be a year old and yet, it only seems like yesterday that I was all fat and pregnant and wishing he'd come already so that I could hold him in my arms. This past year has just flown by so quickly. I've gone from being heavily pregnant, to getting used to a newborn baby with a cleft lip and palate that I was so completely unprepared for, to watching him develop oh so quickly from being a tiny little lump of a newborn to this almost walking little bub that he is now. And how much am I missing out on now that I spend 5 hours or so a day at work away from him??
Damn these thoughts, they make me doubt this idea of me going to med school and becoming a doctor. After all, it would mean even more time away from my little man and I'm already missing him on my part time work schedule. How would I handle full time study and then the training that follows? I don't have any delusions that this could be anything but incredibly tough and difficult, even if I did manage to get into med school in the first place. But on the other hand, I don't want to walk away from the possibility and spend the rest of my life wondering if I could have done it after all. I've done similar in the past and I know I'll just end up regretting it and possibly resenting the situations/people/thoughts that stopped me in the first place.
I have to try at the very least. After all, how can I teach my little Peanut to follow his dreams and chase his goals in life if I can't do the same thing myself?
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