Working mummy guilts

I'm increasing my hours at work from next week onwards. I'm adding another 6 hours a week because I'm thinking that I'll build up to going back full time slowly rather than doing it all at once. In theory, that should be  less of a shock to my schedule but we'll see how well it works in practice. I feel guilty being a part time worker sometimes. Even though I do less hours now, I still feel like I should be doing the same amount of work that I used to do when I was full time. I know it's not reasonable to feel that way but there it is. I feel especially guilty when I have to leave work for other people to do because I need to get home. But then, if I stay at work late, I feel bad for not being home for my little Peanut! Sigh. The joys of being a working mum hey?

Speaking of the joys of being a working mum, I'm still expressing milk at work every day I can book some time in the carers room. The other day, I had a male colleague ask me if I was bothered that there wasn't all that much privacy in and around the carers room. I wasn't actually sure what he was talking about. I mean, the glass door is mostly frosted and people know not to peek in through the slit that isn't so it's private enough right? But he meant that people could see me going in and that everyone knew what I was doing because I wash up my collection kits at the kitchen afterward. I guess he thought that might be embarrassing for me but to be honest, it doesn't really bother me. I'm happy to explain why I do it too if anyone asks (it's much better for Peanut, especially since he has a higher risk of ear infections due to his cleft and breastmilk can reduce the risks) and most people are understanding about this. After all, it's better to prevent the sickness in the first place if you can than to have to take time off to deal with an upset, sick kid right?

Overall, my work seems to be pretty accepting and supportive of my part time schedule and milk expressing and I'm thankful for that. It does make things a little easier for me. I've worked in places in the past that were pretty unforgiving and inflexible when I was younger and had a lot less going on in my life. Looking back at these places and comparing them to where I am now, it makes me glad that I'm not working in those places anymore. If I was still at one of these places, I don't think I'd be back at work yet. Either that or I'd have to give up expressing and give Peanut infant formula instead, which is something I don't really want to do.